Cool Story , Bro

I just , kind of , find this thing among stuffs in my laptop . This were written back in those early days of Hazwan and Anis' absence . I didn't realised I was so badly affected by their absence , Like seriously how could I wrote something like this ? I must be so miserable at that time . I truly definitely am lots better now , :D As far as I'm concern , now I can live my life without worrying about them anymore :D Here it goes .

I moved to Shah Alam in 2009 when I was in Form 2 . Saat-saat baru nak mengenal erti menjadi senior kepada budak newbie / freshie form 1 yang baru masuk sekolah menengah dekat my former school dulu . We know we’re gonna move to Shah Alam but not that soon .. It was terrible -__-

Why do I bring this all up ? Because , today I feel like NO ONE IN THIS WHOLE WORLD LIKES ME AND NO ONE NEEDS ME AND I DON’T EVEN HAVE FRIENDS AND NO ONE KNOWS WHO I AM . IM NOT ALLOWED TO BE ME ANYMORE . EVERYTHING’S CHANGED . All I want now is , just to , smile sincerely . Laugh naturally , I miss those un-forced laugh . I’m tired of faking smiles . I just want to be my usual-self :/ AND , IT FEELS LIKE THE FIRST DAY WHEN I ENTERED MY NEW SCHOOL HERE IN SHAH ALAM . IT FEELS THE SAME . It feels like the same awkward day . The same no-friends day . The same I’m-not-talking-much day . The same lonely day . The same loneliness . The same sadness . The same loss . I’m sitting here in the middle of nowhere . I don’t know where to go , what to do . My I-used-to-have-a-lot-of-friends-that-understands-me life have gone , gone bebeh , gone . Poof , gone . I’m a stranger to them .

I miss my partners , Hazwan and Anis . I miss them so bad . I used to have a fantasy-like life last year , cant even tell if it was real for everyday of my life was lived to the fullest , with the Fasihians all around me , with my wonderfulest bestfriends Hazwan and Anis sitting here by my side , our private jokes , our staying back at school times , our studygroups , the food that we’ve consumed together , the times that we’ve spent among ourselves , the books that we’ve read together , the movies that we’ve watched together , the birthdays that we’ve celebrated together , our laughing non stop till our stomach hurts times , our fighting and ‘debating’ moments , our frights to sit PMR , our competitions to be the one with the best result , I miss our friendships . I miss us .

I just want you guys both to be here . I just want to tell you guys how suck my life is without you guys . I don’t even have courage to go to school anymore these days . I just want you guys to be with me . Is that too much to ask ? I wanna see you guys everyday .. I just want to talk to you . See your smiles . Hear your voices . Why did you guys leave me alone ? I’m all alone here you stupid . I’m sorry that was harsh BUT REALLY IM BLAMING BOTH OF YOU FOR MAKING MY LIFE !@#$%^&* , you left me . You left me . Hanging . No rope . I know I’ve to stop hoping like seriously don’t put much hope but , I can’t help myself from hoping that one day you guys gonna realize how boring you asrama is and come back to Nine . Come back to me . I’ve tried . I’ve tried my hardest to go on with my life . I know what it takes to move on . But I just can’t .